When I started working where I am currently employed, almost a year ago, I immediately butted up against an extremely narcissistic coworker, a youngish Millennial who is what would most aptly be described as “The Mean Girl” – the one in junior high that everyone avoids, the bully. I sought refuge with my closest next-in-line Manager thinking that would be a safe place to share my extreme frustrations at how rudely I was being treated. That “Manager” immediately told the “Mean Girl” I had problems with her. Nothing has ever gone well between us since. And that is my work environment, oh so challenging…! That same Manager told me “Judes, you have to learn to be a duck. Let all the crap just roll off your shoulders, like a duck. Just let it all go.” Easy for HER to say! My sensitive nature comes up to show itself so often at work, I constantly am finding the need to restrain myself. I have not yet walked off the job, and I have been there nearly a year, but I have to admit there have been several days when I came very close to saying “F” IT!” and leaving right there and then, no notice, throwing away the glowing recommendations I could come away with if I can contain my impulsiveness. That is an ongoing struggle for me, letting things just roll right off my back. When I am treated rudely, when I witness others treated rudely, meanly, when I hear gossip and cattiness and favoritism, hypocrisy and other unnecessary ill behaviors, my justice and righteousness ‘siren’ blares within me at deafening volume. I cannot be around meanness, rudeness, unfairness, huge egos, gossip, etc. for any length of time, whether directed at me or others. That said, this is a wonderful company with awesome owners, I really like the highest level Supervisor who hired me, I make decent money from generous customers who love me, and for the most part, I truly enjoy my work. Perhaps I am here to master the DUCK philosophy. With that in mind, I am sharing this awesome article as my blog post today:
|Let It Roll off Our Back|
BY MADISYN TAYLOR
When we are criticized or attacked, it is important to not take it into our heart space.
One of the most difficult challenges in life is learning not to take things to heart and hold on to it. Especially when we’re younger, or if we’re very sensitive, we take so much of what comes our way to heart. This can be overwhelming and unproductive if it throws us off balance on a regular basis. When we are feeling criticized or attacked from all directions, it becomes very difficult for us to recoverourselves so that we can continue to speak and act our truth. This is when we would do well to remember the old saying about letting certain things roll off us, like water off a duck’s back.
Most of the time, the attacks and criticisms of others have much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us. If we get caught up in trying to adjust ourselves to other people’s negative energy, we lose touch with our core. In fact, in a positive light, these slings and arrows offer us the opportunity to strengthen our core sense of self, and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. The more we do this, the more we are able to discern what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. With practice, we become masters of our energetic integrity, refusing to serve as targets for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around us.
Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us. First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognizing when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world.
May I be MORE like a duck today!!